


Call me Adam, not Parrish

by ZoeIsAspiring



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Adam swears, Angst with a Happy Ending, I Tried, M/M, Murder Squash Song, Ronan Swears, Use Your Words, i don't normally write them but whatever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2016-02-13
Packaged: 2018-05-20 04:37:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5991907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZoeIsAspiring/pseuds/ZoeIsAspiring
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Adam takes a risk (because someone needed to), Ronan can't use his words to convey feelings, and they both generally need to get their shit together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Call me Adam, not Parrish

"Damn it!" Ronan punched the ground and raised a hand to smack whatever was closest to him, but quickly curled his fingers when he realized he would've hit a sleeping dream animal.

"It'll work next time," Adam said because it's what he always said and he was a liar.

Ronan stood up and scowled. "Not fucking likely," he said because it's what he always said and he was not a liar.

"It's late," Adam said because it was.

"So get up and go to the car, shitstick," Ronan said because he was Ronan.

Adam gently ran his fingers over the cow's face before standing and stretching. He was aware of Ronan staring at the lifted hem of his shirt and the skin it exposed, and he felt the way he always did whenever Ronan's crush was apparent: confused and happy and wanting and anxious. He thought about confrontation, and immediately disregarded the idea, as always. He still wasn't sure if Ronan actually liked him, or if he just liked the idea of him. He wasn't sure if he could take the latter, so he figured that Ronan should be the one to initiate anything.

Adam yawned and dropped his arms to his sides. "Let's go then."

He walked toward the car, and Ronan fell into step beside him. Adam knocked his knuckles against Ronan's a few times as they walked, only half accidental.

He tugged open the passenger door and fell into the seat, only realizing how tired he was when he sat down. As Ronan slid into the driver's side and started the car, Adam rested his head against the window and closed his eyes. Ronan noticed and turned the music down.

"You don't have to turn off your music," Adam said firmly. "I can sleep through it, or just stay awake if you'd like."

Ronan shrugged and turned the sound up to full blast.

"SQUASH ONE SQUASH TWO-"

Adam's head shot up so fast, he almost gave himself whiplash. "RONAN LYNCH I WILL RIP OUT YOUR SOUND SYSTEM."

Ronan turned the music off and cackled for a solid minute. Adam rolled his eyes and leaned back against the headrest. He stared at Ronan while he drove, enjoying being able to look at him when he couldn't look back.

Ronan Lynch was so frustratingly complexly unknown to him, and at the same time complexly known to him. It was confusing to know that the Ronan who pushed him in shopping carts and gave him dream lotion was the Ronan that fought Declan and kicked down sacred doors was the Ronan that dreamed Mathew and wanted to free his mother from Cabeswater, and even more confusing that each and every one of Ronan’s different personality traits made his heart melt a little more every time...

"Wake up."

Adam blinked and sat up, not realizing he had fallen asleep in the first place. Ronan was scowling at him and chewing on his leather bracelets. The car was still running. Adam wondered exactly how long they'd been sitting there and exactly how much gas Ronan had wasted by leaving the car on.

Ronan held out a greasy bag. "Dinner."

Adam didn't take it. "How much was it?"

Ronan rolled his eyes and scowled harder as he dropped the bag on Adam's lap. "Think of it as payment for me spending the night so much."

Adam frowned and took out his wallet. "How much was it?"

Ronan shrugged. "Like, five dollars."

"Okay." He pushed open the door and accidentally on purpose dropped a five on the floor as he got out. "See you tomorrow."

Adam quickly walked up the stairs to his shabby apartment and accidentally dropped the bag while he fumbled with his key. He wasn't able to get inside before Ronan's angry voice called after him, "You're not fucking slick, Parish!"

"Just keep it!" Adam hurriedly pushed open his door, but he wasn't fast enough to get inside before Ronan was grabbing his arm and shoving the five into his hand.

"Fuck you," Ronan spat.

"Fuck you!" Adam said automatically. "I was just paying you back."

"And I _just_ didn't ask you to! God, you make it impossible for me to do nice things for you!" Ronan dropped Adam's arm and stepped back, immediately regretting voicing his words. He added a final "fuck you" for good measure, and started down the stairs.

"Wait." Adam lunged forward to grab Ronan's arm in hopes of stopping him, but Ronan turned unexpectedly. Adam swiped at air and fell forward with only enough time to recognize that he didn't have the money to fix a broken nose. Instead of banging his face and tumbling down the stairs, an arm shot out in front of his chest and a hand seized the back of his shirt.

"Can you function like a normal person, Parrish?" Ronan said angrily. "You're a fucking mess."

Adam took a shaky breath and allowed himself to lean into Ronan to recover for a second. Two seconds. Three. He stood back a little. "You moved."

"So you wouldn't drag us both down the stairs. Fucking hell." Ronan released the back of Adam's shirt and turned to leave.

"Wait." Adam grabbed Ronan's wrist and pocketed the five dollars. Ronan noticed. "You're supposed to look over my Latin."

"You know full fucking well that I didn't do the homework."

"Yeah, and that's why you should look over it- so you can correct me if I’m wrong and still have an idea of what’s happening if you get called on in class." Adam walked into his room with an air of finality and left the door open behind him.

After a pause, Ronan collapsed onto the bed and held out the bag of food to Adam, who sat at his desk. "Give it here. And eat your food."

Adam rolled his eyes and traded him. He flipped open his literature book and began to read, occasionally reaching for a fry as he did.

A half hour later, Ronan rolled over and yawned. "It's all grammatically correct and shit."

"Hm? Oh, thanks." He expected Ronan to get up and leave, but the other boy didn't move from the bed.

An hour later when Adam could barely keep his eyes open, he turned to see that Ronan had fallen asleep in his bed. Adam wasn't going to force him to leave- Ronan stayed over all the time anyway- but he was sprawled out across the comforter, so Adam couldn't take it to sleep on the floor. He bit his lip and decided that he'd figure it out after a quick shower.

Adam emerged from the bathroom ten minutes later with wet hair, no shirt, and no idea what to do. Ronan looked so peaceful in that moment, and Adam didn't want to be the one to disrupt him, especially since Ronan rarely got a good night sleep. But Adam hardly slept well either, and he wasn't about to kill his back by sleeping on the floor when he had work the next day.

He noticed that Ronan was only taking up three fourths of the bed. Adam could probably fit beside him, if need be. As soon as he realized this, an overwhelming desire to sleep next to Ronan seized him.

"No," Adam whispered aloud. He couldn't do that if Ronan was already sleeping. Had he been awake, Adam would've suggested it. Had he been awake, though, the problem wouldn't have arisen at all.

"Ronan?" Adam whispered. He crossed the room and sat on his bed. "Are you faking?"

Ronan didn't respond, but that didn't mean anything.

Adam bit his lip. "Ronan, I'm shirtless and I want to sleep with you."

Ronan opened his eyes. "What the fuck?"

"You are awake." Adam was disappointed and relieved all at once. There goes waiting for Ronan to initiate anything. "Scooch over."

He did. "Why am I scooching?"

"Because I need to go to sleep and you're taking up the whole bed," Adam said softly. _Please understand and stay put._

"Shouldn't... Shouldn't I move to the floor?"

Adam crawled under his sheets and lay facing his friend. "You could, but you don't have to."

Ronan stared. "You really are shirtless and want to sleep with me."

"I guess I am." Adam felt Ronan's breath on his face. He closed his eyes. "Do you want to stay here, or are you going to move to the floor?"

It was a test, and Adam really wanted Ronan Lynch to pass.

"Might as well," he said roughly. "I'm already here."

The bed creaked as Ronan made himself more comfortable- or rather, the bed creaked as Ronan situated himself so as to be as far away from Adam as possible without falling off the bed. Adam sighed internally and shifted so that the back of his hand rested against Ronan's arm.

"Why are you doing this?"

Adam opened his eyes. "Doing what?"

"Whatever it is you're doing right now." Ronan clenched his fists and sat up. "I don't want this if it's out of pity. I don't want you to pity me."

"Good thing I don't then," Adam said, sharper than he meant to. "My intentions are purely selfish."

Ronan scowled. "Is Cabeswater making you do this?"

"Cabeswater?"

He looked at his hands. "It tends to give me what I want."

"For fuck’s sake, Ronan." Adam sat up and kissed him, hard. He leaned into the kiss, placing a hand on Ronan's hip and the other on his cheek. For a second, two seconds, three, it was like Adam was kissing a statue, until Ronan reacted. Both of his hands flew up, one tangling in Adam's hair, the other trapping Adam in place against his mouth. Ronan pushed into him a little too excitedly and accidentally shoved them both back onto the bed. He jerked back and quickly pulled himself off of Adam.

"I don't think-"

"Don't think." Adam shifted and kissed him again: Ronan immediately pushed him back.

Adam grunted in annoyance, a deep throaty sound that made Ronan pause. "Seriously, Lynch? You've been pining after me for months and when I finally show you that the feelings are reciprocated, you don't want me to kiss you?"

Ronan scowled and said nothing; he never had been good with words.

Adam's heart clenched. "What, you've decided that you don't like me after all?"

Ronan opened his mouth and took a breath but said nothing.

Adam shoved off his sheets and stood, his hands gripping his hair so hard is hurt. "Shit, Ronan say something!" He realized that he was still shirtless and hurried to put on the first shirt he saw (it was the Coca Cola shirt).

"I'm not good for you."

Adam pinched the bridge of his nose- a very Gansey thing to do. "Are you fucking kidding me? Ronan Lynch, you are not a liar."

"I know I'm not."

"Then why did you just flat out lie to me?" Adam sat at his desk chair and cursed himself for acting on impulse and cursed Ronan for being Ronan.

"It's not a lie if you think it's true," Ronan muttered.

Adam crossed his arms and scoffed. "Lie number two. You're on a roll, Lynch."

Ronan rapidly and repeatedly punched the bed. "You could get hurt."

"I really can't understand your logic here," Adam said furiously. "If you mean physically hurt by your dream things or whatever, it's not like that hasn't already been a possibility before. Dammit Ronan, how many times have you slept on my floor and how many times have I gotten hurt? Zero. And if you mean emotionally, well, that's a chance in literally every relationship."

Ronan dug his clenched fists into Adam's pillow.

Adam sighed. "Did you never like me at all?" All the anger had fallen out of his voice to be replaced with hollow hurt. "Did you only like the idea of me?"

Ronan's face contorted. "Of course I like you! I wouldn't fucking be here if I didn't like you."

"Then _why won't you let me kiss you?_ " Adam spun his chair around to far the wall and scowled.

"Because you don't like me!" Ronan spat.

"There you go, lying again!"

"You like Blue!"

Adam spun around angrily. "You don’t get it! I _liked_ Blue! Past tense! I _like_ you! _Present tense!_ And I _will_ like you, future tense because, guess what! Someone actually cares!"

Ronan glared at his hands. "It's different though, isn't it? It has to be different."

"What's different?" Adam asked exasperatedly.

"Me and Blue."

"What do you even mean by that? Of course it’s different! You’re two fairly different people, Ronan.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what do you mean? She’s Blue and you’re-" he stopped, understanding finally. "You mean boys and girls."

"I mean what I meant," Ronan muttered.

Adam stood and ran his fingers through his hair. “I... I guess it’s sorta different, but not really. I don’t know. It’s like.... synonyms. With Blue it was like “hell yeah” and with you it’s like “fuck yes.” Same thing, slightly different, if that makes sense.”

Ronan stared at him for a moment, then nodded slightly with a slightly more relaxed expression. He lay back on the bed and threw the comforter over himself.

“What are you doing?”

“Going to sleep,” Ronan said roughly. “You have room.”

Adam sighed and crossed the room. He shed his shirt and crawled into bed beside Ronan. This time, he rested his head on Ronan’s chest and pushed his legs so they crossed with the other boy’s. And Ronan let him. Even better, Ronan curved his arm behind Adam’s back to better secure him on the bed.

“Fucking finally,” Adam murmured. “Dammit, Ronan, I’ve been waiting to do this for months.”

“Shut up, Parrish, I’m trying to sleep.” But the usual venomous overtone was overpowered by the usual affectionate undertone.

“Call me Adam,” Adam whispered. “Not Parrish.”

“Adam,” Ronan echoed.

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually my second attempt at writing about them, but y'all don't want to see the first attempt because it was awful. I hope this attempt wasn't as awful, and I cannot wait to read the Raven King


End file.
